People often asked me, “How do you balance your life?” To be honest, I don’t think about it. I try my best to be there for my family, my friends and myself, but I don’t think there’s a set formula like 1 + 1 = 2. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, “Do I really want balance? Or is it just another challenge I’m giving myself?” Because when you’re so focus on the “issue” – either to solve it or fix it or get rid of it, you end up not putting focus on the people that are involved, which is your family, friends and *you*.
This past Sunday, I left home for a business trip. I didn’t return home until late last night, my daughter was deep asleep already. This morning, she and I woke up early, we hugged, exchanged gifts and chatted a bit in bed. A short side note about the gifts: I made a suggestion that every time I’m away for work she and I would prepare a gift for each other. She usually would make me drawings or some cute crafts, while I would look for something small that represents the city I’d work at. We got up, I looked over her homework and she told me little stories here and there about school and friends. While she was having breakfast I was reading news, check Twitter and Instagram, quickly went through email, deleted or filed the ones I didn’t need to pay attention to and saved the ones that need my reply for later the day. On some other mornings, I would meditate and stay away from news media and social networks to detox my mind. After kid was dropped off to school, I came home, sat down, put my phone aside, eyes away from the computer and listened to my mom talked about everything she wanted to share. About 30 to 40 some minutes later, she and I made breakfast and by 10am I officially started my work day. For today, most likely I’ll work til 5pm. After that I’ll help my daughter with homework and studying, then dinner, then she goes play and I play too (Pinterest, browsing the internet, read magazines, etc.), then it’s bedtime story and we’ll hit the bed by 9pm.
My days are usually pretty calm, I try not to let stress take over. Of course, there are days when I am in so much stress that I’d have to tell my daughter, “I’m sorry, I have a matter to take care of right now, but give me a moment and I’ll give you my attention.” But that’s normal, that’s life, that’s what makes it fun. The reason I shared with you a typical day of mine is to show you that’s how I balance my life – I give attention to my family first, but in return that’s part of giving myself attention too. We feel unbalanced because we let our ego, our work, fear of business competitors, fear of failing and everything negative get into our lives. If we live consciously everyday by letting go negative feelings, focus on the feelings of your loved ones, focus on what you need (without the egotistic mind), create a schedule that fulfills you (personally and professionally) which includes times with everyone in the family, then things will become easy. I’ve found my balance and I know you can too.
- My daughter’s drawing of a lady warrior. Army strong, my friends! -